appreciative shout out to actual social justice warriors who realize it’s not constructive to turn oppressive behaviors back on traditionally privileged groups and give them a “taste of their own medicine” and increase everyone’s animosity for fun and instead want to actually make things better not just stoke the flames and watch the world burn
I work as a dog groomer at the big Pet Place. Getting pretty close to closing time, maybe only an hour or so left, and the phone rings.
"Thank you for calling the salon, how can I help you?" "Could you groom my walrus??" "… I beg your pardon, what kind of dog did you say you have?" "No, my walrus! I have a baby walrus I was wanting to get shaved a bit. I have him and a few others walruses and seals in my backyard as a rescue facility, and I just wanted to get him touched up a bit." "… Ma’am… We live in Kentucky." "Can you do it or not?" "I don’t think you could bring me verification of a vet’s rabies document if you tried."
My parents and I were watching the Hobbit but then they both fell asleep so I stopped the movie and started Return of the King about halfway through and when my dad woke up he just looked at me with this horrified expression and whispered what day is it?